Heaven's Tree       

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July 23, 2008

Don't let anyone tell you that the so called, "Disease," of addiction is not curable. Even some cancers are curable; or at least can be put in remission. When the people who think they know it all realize that the disease of addiction IS curable then more and more addicts will realize it also. You tell some one that they are stupid long enough they will think they are stupid. Or if you tell some one that they are stupid and they will always be stupid; well, that is just false.

And if addiction is a disease, why doesn't insurance companies pay for treatment like any other disease? It is because they think they are wasting their money on something that they have been told is not curable. If they think they are wasting their money, then why do they harp so much on the fact that addicts need treatment. If a treatment doesn't work, try something different. Try and encourage the addict that has been clean and sober for years that they are cured. It might just surprise you. Most people who are told that they have an incurable disease just simply give up. And can you blame them? What do they have to lose? But if they are cured, then they have everything to lose by contracting the disease again. Diseases come and go. So, let you disease be healed and let the addiction go! Let God, and Let Go! And, hey, what if it works?

jdi July 23, 2008

 

Mr. J, I read your long list of letters, what a tremendous effort on your part and your associates.  The many needs in your paragraphs touched my heart. Especially one about the man who actually made parole and now is waiting for the Gov to sign it.  As we know he can wait a very long time and then still hear the Gov did not sign.  This is so wrong.  We so desperately need the Governor out of the parole business, we are overcrowded and need people to work and contribute in OK.  The PAROLE BOARD ARE TRAINED TO LOOK AT RECORDS OF THE PEOPLE THE GOVERNOR JUST SIGNS OR DON'T SIGN, HE CAN'T POSSIBLY KNOW THE RECORDS OF THESE PEOPLE. THANK YOU FOR THE PRECIOUS WORK YOU DO.  I AM NOT WELL FAMILIAR WITH ALL AREAS AND HOW IT ALL WORKS, BUT WHAT I READ IS UPLIFTING.  JIMMIE RUTH EDWARDS, A MOTHER OF AN INMATE.

 

Question/comment from a friend of Heavens Tree:

Carole,

I can understand how you feel with the person you love behind bars and not being able to be with him.  While there is nothing you can do about that, you can "do" the time by keeping yourself busy.  Doing things for others will make you feel so go and rewarding,time will  pass faster.  When you are feeling down, pick yourself up and go out and do something for others.  You don't have to spend any money or have any certain talent  to visit someone in the nursing home.  Residents in a nursing home are  kind of "during time" themselves, really.  Many have little visitors and would love to have someone drop by and talk to them for awhile.  You would be amazed how interesting these people can be.  Nursing homes are always understaffed, and the staff cannot do everything for the residents.Little acts of kindness goes a long way.  There are many others things that require even less time or effort, you just have to find them.  Simply holding the door for someone, combing one's hair,playing cards with someone, anything can reward you with just a smile that will warm your heart.Living with an attitude of gratitude helps as well. I am not saying that I live like this all the time.  I slip back into my old way of thinking many times. But when I do, I feel miserable. That's when I have to let go and let God take over.  It works everytime.  Try it.  I recommend AA or NA meetings .  There are also meetings for their spouses and families.  I also recommend the big book of AA. It was like a bible to me. Hope my advise will help some.  Best wishes.

 

 

 

Thank you so much for your blog. It has been posted on HeavensTree. You are right about doing something besides staying home and being miserable. I found that out real quick. I now strive to keep busy. The idea of visiting the nursing home hit me in a soft spot. I love the elders of this world. I loved my grandmother dearly and only wish she were still here so I could go visit her in the nursing home. Maybe I will take your advice and visit one to bring back wonderful memories of her. Yes, there are Al-Anon and other groups for the families of alcoholics and/or drug addicts and other addictions as well. Check your local phone book or call 211 for info on meetings in your area.

JDI

July 25, 2008. Thank you for your post,  jdi

JDI you know what is crazy..... the last time I saw you I was sitting in your pool when you lived over there by L---- when you and J__ were still together drinking a beer then the next thing I knew you were gone.  I didn't know why until a couple of years later.  That was your house right?  I came with XXXX and YYYYYYY.  If I can remember I thought C___ A was there.  I never knew you were having problems.  See I guess I am not very perceptive.  All I know is I thought everyone I worked with at V__H was a great group of people and I was glad to know all of you.  I only now know alot of those same people had the same kind of trouble but, you have really come back and I am now a fan.  I appreciate you considering me one of your friends and I support you and your work 100%.  Even though I have not been on the other side of the fence to know first hand the things you have endured but,  I do know it is a major fight to climb back over and you did it.  You need any help you call me okay.

DY

July 16, 2008

 

JDI You have given me waaaay too much credit........  Yes I heard what happened to David back then so I hope he okay these days.  I used to see him at BXXXXXX's working but, after he quit I haven't seen him.  You guys were a heck of a team working together.  Hell, I would have let you scrape me up off the streets any day.   Did those guys get you started with all that stuff?  I can say this though, you have been super nice to chat with and have been a perfect gentlemen to me e-mailing and if that is one of your qualities you are OKAY in my book.

DB                                                                                                                                                        7/15/08

Hey DB,

I have always tried to be a gentleman. I worked very hard at it because it is something I believe in. Once I do get on the right track, and I have had my good years throughout the past 53 years; such as at V-_H, I put all of myself into it. No, I have no one to blame but myself. Once a person realizes that nobody can make you do anything and accept responsibility for your own actions then you are on the way to recovery. Thanks again for the complement. I have learned that you have to show those who you have let down in the past that you have changed, not just tell them. Only your future actions will win their confidence and respect back.

JDI
7/18/08

JDI,

I just wanted to let you know that I think your new web site is great. We think so much alike.  I believe God wants me to help people also.  I would be more than happy to be a sponsor,  or just talk to someone that needs help with their addiction or any life problem.  I haven’t been where you have been, but I know what it is like to be on the bottom and I have found the way up.  I live by the 12 steps, and have survived working them.  The first 3 steps are my survival tools, and I live by them daily.  I strongly believe that if you really want to quit drugs or alcohol, going to 90 meetings in 90 days is highly recommended.  I went to 120 meetings in 90 days because I wanted to change so badly.  I quit doing crank in 1994.  I believe the last crank I did was bought from you. Today I am clean and sober and I feel great! Please let me know what I can do to help and I will be glad to do what I can.    I hope that anyone that needs help will find your website.  I will pass it on to as many people I know.  I have always thought you were a great person, even when you were doing drugs and messing up.  I believe anyone can change if they want to.  I really respect you and I have considered you a friend for a long time.  Keep us the good work, God will reward you greatly.

LM

July 18, 2008

LM,

You wiill find your e-mail on my Blog page. With the names taken out of course. Thank you for the kind words. I have always considered you a great friend also and I can't believe we got ourselves in the situation that we did. NONE of it was worth it. Tell Mr. P I would like to come and visit one of these days. Thank you again and when the site gets really busy I'll probably take you up on the help offered. God bless you and your family.
jdi                             7/18/08

Floyd,

I don’t know if you know me or would even remember me if you did, so before I get into the real purpose of this letter I want to tell you a little bit about me and how I came to write to you in the first place.

Your mother is a dear friend of mine as is her husband Mark. I am 53 years old, I have two sons, Ben 32 yo, Adam 29 yo, and I have 6 grandchildren, ages 4 through 14. I was married for 25 years and by going to prison I lost everything I owned and loved; twice. My first brush with the law was back in 1973. Since then I have been sentenced to 74 years. A 4 year deferred sentence, 2 five year suspended sentences, 4 ten year sentences, and last, and I mean last literally, 1 twenty year sentence. By the grace of God I have only spent around 12 Calendars total counting jail time. All charges were drug related. However, from my experience almost all other crimes are related in some way to drugs and/or alcohol.

I knew many people who were in prison for anything from murder, robbery, burglary, stolen property, sex crimes, grand larceny, and many others and a huge % of those were related to the use of drugs and/or alcohol before, during and after the crime was committed. It’s just that they got charged with crimes that seem not to be related to drugs or alcohol. Now, I’m not saying that you are in jail for a crime related to drugs or alcohol; I’m just giving you this information so that if  you can relate to those who will deny that they use because that is not what they went to jail for.

Having said that, it doesn’t really matter what caused the crime to be committed; it has been committed and that can’t be changed. What can be changed is the future. But before one can really move on, one must accept responsibility for one’s actions.

Again, from my experience, let me tell you the first few things a person does when they are arrested;

1. They deny that they are guilty.
2. They seem to know more about their rights.
3. They, “Find God.”
4. They begin to read the Word.
5. They try and justify their crime.
6. They want the best lawyer available.
7. And they cry.

Yes, men do cry. I can’t count the nights when tears flowed down my cheeks; silently, of course. Not because I was in prison, not because I would not see home for many years, not because prison was scary, not because I hated prison; but because I realized what I had done had cause all of those things to happen in the first place.

Notice, I said what, “I,” had done. Nobody makes us do anything. We make a decision to do the things we do. It is our decisions and choices in life that we either reap benefits from or we pay the price for. And when we come to the realization of the truth of that statement, only then can we begin the healing process.

Yes, even I, the first few times I went to jail or prison, found God. Or at least I thought I had. I made Him promises that I didn’t keep and promises I couldn’t keep. But this last time I went to prison; He found me! And when I admitted my wrongs to Him in the privacy of my own prayers; and just as importantly, to others, mostly those who will stand by you unconditionally, (family and loved ones), only then could I look at myself in the mirror and say, “yes, I did all of those things.” But the most important thing I told myself every morning while looking in that same mirror is that I don’t do those things anymore. And so life was so much more peaceful. The inner peace is tremendous when God finds you!

So, the best advice I can give is to ask for His forgiveness, allow Him into your heart and mind and life. Forgive yourself and pray that those you have wronged will forgive you also. Remember what I said? No one can be made to do anything; we choose to do what we do. So, no one can make those other people forgive you. All you can do is your part. If they don’t forgive you, that is on them; between them and God. Just do the right thing. If it is good and right, do it. If it is true, say it. If it is bad or wrong, don't do it; if it is not true, don't say it. You can’t go wrong, no matter where you are physically; you can be anywhere you want to be mentally and God will keep you where you need to be spiritually if you will only let Him.

I am here for you anytime you want to write and talk. That is what God had in store for me when I got out. For you and anybody else who just needs a letter of encouragement or someone to talk to, my address is at the top of this letter. Your mom has asked me to write to you, God has asked me to help those who need help, and now this is what I live for. You are in my prayers and know that your loved ones and family are suffering right along beside you. Keep them in your prayers. Stay to yourself and don’t let anybody influence your decisions. No one can do your time for you; don’t do anybody else’s time for them. One day you will come home and be better for it.

jdi                                                                                                 July 20, 2008.

Letter to  a friends son who is in jail and possibly facing prison time. jdi

Carole,

I know it may seem trivial to some, but have a fan is a luxury in prison and I was so grateful when I could afford one. It is the little things that matter to those in prison, but no possession can make up for someone who cares about you while in prison. Ray is a lucky person to have a loving wife such as yourself. Please stay positive for Ray's sake and keep doing what you are apparently doing right. Contentment is all in the mind and believe it or not it can be obtained even from the inside looking out. I was just so thankful for the things I did have in there and did not dwell on what I didn't have or what others had. Any day when you wake up and are alive, have food, a roof, and a loving God and family is a good day.

I hope that others will realize through your most welcome letters that the families do time also. While prison is no fun, neither is raising children alone while the spouse is incarcerated. I got to where visits were emotionally draining for me; I hated to see my family leave knowing that I couldn't go with them. But no matter where one is we must make the best out of the situation. In order to get up feeling good about yourself and life in general, you must tell yourself over and over that you feel good. If a person gets up in the morning and says, "Man, I don't feel like going to work today," that person is not going to want to go to work today. But if that same person gets up and says, "Man, today is going to be a great day," the day will be great because he said it would be. We have to control our own world and we do that by changing the way we perceive reality. Reality is what you make it. It is a hard concept to grasp, but it really works. Moping around, being miserable, or just being in a bad mood or staying mad at the world only makes reality miserable for that person.

God has a plan for every ones future. For hope and joy, happiness, and redemption. I don't like to sound like a preacher because everybody has their own belief system. But a spiritual life is so important to achieve the things God has in store for us. Whether you are a Muslim, Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Atheist, or what ever, it does not matter. The truth will be revealed in the end to all on God's terms and in His own time. But that shouldn't keep a person from having faith in the unseen and unknown. We tend to want to run our own lives when in fact if we would just turn it over to our higher power and follow Him life would take care of itself just as nature does. Even if all human beings were to parish, nature would live on, without our help. Trees would still produce fruit. Grass and lilies would continue to bloom. This life was meant to be a preparation stage for eternal life. We need to prepare for the life that really matters. Not that this life doesn't; but, we need to learn from life and put those lessons to work for us so that we become what we need to become to live in eternity. I said all of that to say this; Don't let the things of this life worry you too much that you lose the joy of the day. Live everyday as if it were your last and put your energy into the things that really matter. We all have set backs. Just get up and go at it again and again until you master the art of coming through our trials and tribulations a winner.

I also took New Directions, Therapeutic Community, MRT, SAE, Relapse Prevention, Thinking for a Change, New Beginnings, attended NA meetings, and did a 3 year Bible study with the Institute for Higher learning-Crossroad Bible College. Learning is a life long process and we should learn and grow daily to a level higher than yesterday. When we quit growing and learning we die. Knowledge is the beginning of wisdom. And wisdom can set you free of the chains of this life.Ray has his level 4 and only 2 security points. This is the first step to lower security which is a step closer to coming home; or at least more freedom and less worry. One day he will walk out of that gate and then the real test begins. It will be his turn to say goodbye to his celly and leave him behind awaiting his day.

God bless you all,

Jim

July 23, 2008    jdi

Thank you so much.. I knew I could ask this of you. Floyd called me Saturday evening, and he recieved divorce papers. He was very upset. He has not been indicted yet, but is waiting. Thank you for your prayers.
 
God has blessed me , with a friend like you. 
 pb                                        July 21, 2008

PB

Question/comment: I think it is so inhumane for the DOC of Oklahoma to make the inmates in the State run prisons to suffer in the 100 degree and over hot weather without no air conditioning. Especially the elderly. My husband is serving a 45 year sentence for 1st Degree Burglary and because he had two priors they threw the book at him. At least he gets his good time off every month. I feel he has served long enough for what he did. He got more time than someone who has killed someone or molested a child. the justice system is all messed up. He went in front of the parole board in 20 and does NOT  go again until June 2012. He has changed his life since he has been in. And he has gotten of of cocaine that he was strung out on when he did what he did to try to support his habit. I want him home with me. We met in May of 2003 and married in Nov.19, 2005. Please pray for his release early and to find favor with the parole BOARD AND THE GOVERNOR. THANKS, CAROL  AND RAYMOND 

July 21, 2008

Carol,

I sympathize with all of those who are at a yard without A/C. I was on a yard for 4 years and all we had were the swamp coolers as they call them. It is basically a very large water cooler. It kept the place bearable and especially if one had a personal fan at his bedside. Does your husband have a fan?

 

As for the time he received, I have to repeat what I tell our participants; life is not fair. I understand perfectly where a person would be angry at the system for giving some one more time for burglary than for murder; however, you cannot compare one case with another because each case is so different. We don't always get all of the details of other cases we read about. If life were fair, we would have no hunger; no diseases; no unemployment, etc... No, we don't live in a perfect world. We have to do with what we have and not dwell on what we don't have or what others have.

 

How did he change his life? And if you don't mind sharing, how could others tell that he has changed? Is he content even where he is? It only makes time harder if he succumbs to the environment he is in. The hardest thing to do is to do the right thing, which is positive, when you live in such a negative environment. He will be in our prayers, no doubt. I wish he had Internet access, but I know that isn't going to happen. You might want to copy and print some of our blogs and send to him. He may communicate to us through you and maybe it will give him something to look forward to. I am so sorry that there isn't much one can do as for parole. But, all is not lost. If he has truly changed, he has to be in better spirits. We will pray that God uses his situation to minister to his heart and others around him. Tell him to stay positive; for negativity will only drag you down further. Thanks for your letter.

jdi

Yes Ray has a fan.  He has been handling this since May 1997.  He is the one who is positive I am the one who gets discouraged. He has completed the Substance Abuse 2 April 1999; The LCF New Journey Chemical Dependency Program May 27, 1999- May 27, 2000;  HIV/AIDS Education Nov. 10, 1999; Life
Skills  24 Nov 1999; Thinking For A Change  April 11, 2000; Basic Literacy May 30, 2003.  And he also recieved a  letter of recomendation  from the LCF Therapeutic Community stating that he has demonstrated a genuine desire for change and has gained furthure insight into his disease of addiction by
following all program rules, fully participating in all program activities and displaying a positive role model characteristics..  He also got transferred to minimum security last month earlier than expected. .  And no he is not content where he is. He is doing everything he can do to do his time and get out of there.. He is not institutionalized. He has a home to come to and a wife who loves him with all of her heart and will do all in her power to help him get through this. I told him in a letter that we climbed this mountain together since we met and  we will slide down the
other side together. and he has maintained his Level 4 since he has been in except for one write up for trying to put my daughter on his visiting list before we were married so I would'nt  have to ride down to see him alone. He has only 2 points security risk from LARC when he went in. He has become a good man and a good husband, and step-father. All of his family saw the
change in him from when he was on the outside. Thank You, Carol----

Jimmy, I am so proud of what you are doing with your life. Thank you for keeping me informed. I went to the "heaven's tree" site and was very impressed. I love You, (cousin) Tommie Jo

TJS  July 21, 2008

Tommy,

That means so much to me. I love you also. God bless. You may read new blogs daily. I'm sure this thing will keep me busy. Take care.

jdi  July 21, 2008